hateful comments
Started by BANKCOLLECTOR
rudyk
BC appealed to:
the major problem with this "solution" is that it gives licence for anyone to abuse people in private with little chance of there being any meaningful recrimination. while objective dialogue is usually possible in private with many people, it is impossible with some. those people often wear sheep's clothing in public forum while being vicious in private communication. these intimidation strategies need to be exposed to a wider audience so that the perpetrator cannot act with the impunity he normally enjoys.
while i appreciate idjit's overture and understand that peaceful co-existence is most people's wish and hope, there are sometimes extraordinary circumstances which make it necessary to go beyond what he proposes. that time, i believe, is nigh.
Idjit
…is that most people simply cannot resist opening e-mail- even if they think there might be a nasty message directed at them within. Resist! don't be tempted to open mail from people you don't want to talk to! There's a reason why Sasktel instructs customers to simply hang up when obscene calls occur- because the offenders simply give up and go away in most cases. You might have to hang up several times, but each time you do, the perpetrator is thwarted in their attempts to offend you. It is the best course of action because it works.
If there is anyone out there who remembers the long-running dispute on the 'other site' that went on for several months, and involved many people, you will recall that towards the end, there was a considerable backlash against those who wanted to ban this individual from the site. The whole mess was waged on the public forums until several people quit the site in disgust. These people were blaming everyone, not only the instigator, for making it impossible to have fun on their forums anymore. In the end, the instigator was banned from the site permanently, but even after he was gone, there were people so sick of the whole thing being re-hashed afterwards that left the site because the 'victims' just wouldn't leave it alone. Many of these people never returned.
As we have seen, we have already lost some members due to this latest dust-up. Yet, I would be hard pressed to blame it all on BC, because he simply has not been posting that many messages in the forums lately- it's been 'the others'. Now before y'all jump all over me about the last statement, I simply want to point out that there have been casualties- there's been a lot of shootin', and some of the fallen have been hit by freindly fire. Even if you get what you want, is it worth the cost?
I hope these comments will be helpful. You can't like everyone, but you can choose who you want to talk to- or not.
One final comment: this is the last 'preaching' you will hear from me. I will not comment further, in the forums or elsewhere, nor will I answer e-mails private or otherwise on this topic. Just call it a doctor taking his own medicine.
Sarge
This whole situation reminds me of "The Tragedy of the Commons" , in which a group or society can function successfully so long as everyone follows a few simple guidelines. It is only when just one person starts to violate those guidelines because they see personal advantage, does the system break down.
The forums and private messages are our 'commons' They are a group resource, and so long as all of us are respectful of a few guidelines - and common sense - it is a successful and useful tool. But when just one person violates the guidelines, or doesn't think before he/she posts, does the system break down.
Most of us aren't kids, but how many of you recall your parents saying something like 'if you haven't anything good to say, don't say it'. That is perhaps, the simplest guideline for use of public and private messages. Anything else…take it to court!
(Keep in mind this is coming from the instigator of the original feud with 'the Dark Site')!
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