ATM / ABM

I know that ATM/ABM machines are hard on money but do you think this is really what the person meant?? :o)

Interesting hit comment…. …… a bank "mash"ine

I don't think sooooooo….

… another sad casualty of the "whole language" approach to language arts education [puts hand over heart].

… another sad casualty of the "whole language" approach to language arts education [puts hand over heart]. - rudyk

Yeah, it is kind of sad isn't it…

whole language" approach to language arts education

Reminds me of a couple of old jokes. I hope you like them rudyk!

#1 - IMPORTANT NEWSFLASH !!!

After the Euro money, Europe will soon get a universal language!

The News Standard has received this bulletin from our Brussels-based News Service….

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "Z" and "w" by "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU……………………….

#2.

Language

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"… I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"… These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"… An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"… The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"… This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"… I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"… Once

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"… Twice

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"… Thrice

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"… I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"… A couple of others think so, too.

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"… Wrong.

"ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"… Rumor has it.

"A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"… A wild guess.

"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"… Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"… I don't understand it

"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"… They don't understand it either.

"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"… Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"… A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"… I quit.

---

Quick Wit:

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy – Either way, you get your dog back!"

Very humourous indeed. Thanks for sharing, Pooga :)

pooga reported:
Language
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

LOL pooga… i first encountered that one back in grad school and i have been using it ever since… coincidentally, i handed out a copy of that one in class this morning!

Rudyk stated … another sad casualty of the "whole language" approach to language arts education [puts hand over heart].

Nope, I guess that it was only a typo. Just when I made gouche62 instead of 92 ..lol