As it appears that BC and LC can not communicate without turning things into a private war, how about you both take a break from repling to each others messages until you both have some personal control over your desire to battle with each other…
I know I have only been back for a couple of weeks and I am already sick of the fighting in all of your threads. to put it in coding language if (nothing nice to say) { echo "Nothing" };
Bish0p
ditto, thats what my mommy told me, if you have nothing nice to say,say nothing. you dont have to like everyone but you dont have to make it public. everyone has an opinion and while we are entitled to them, if it is not nice, then keep it to yourself. I for one do not wish to hear it. now back to your naughty corners or I will put on my special black outfit that has handcuffs and chains and blindfolds.
i'm always amused at how people want to avoid (or deny) conflict at all costs. people have differing opinions – we can't always get along. frank exchanges of ideas and perspectives are absolutely necessary in any healthy relationship. if that does not happen, one personality ends up dominating… and it is usually the bully in the group. quite simply, bullies cannot be allowed to push their agenda and must, on occasion, be shown as the insecure people that they are. it benefits the group not one whit to have forced niceties. growth more often accrues from divergent discussion than it does from banal chit-chat. last time i checked, amongst the meanings of "forum" was, " A medium of open discussion or voicing of ideas…". i pray that we allow these to be that.
Rudyk mentioned:
last time i checked, amongst the meanings of "forum" was, " A medium of open discussion or voicing of ideas…". i pray that we allow these to be that.
I agree with that. The only thing is that it could be posted without getting personal by attacking, accusing or making someone look bad. Every person has a different personality and should be treated with respect.
Rudyk,
I would agree with you when you say that the forum is a medium of open discussion or voicing of ideas.
hovering over ones keyboard waiting for a chance for someone to say something so you can jump on them is however not an exchange of ideas, or what I would consider and open discussion.
My message was not about avoiding conflict at any cost, trust me anyone who remembers me from last year knows I am not affraid of any conflict. It is however about getting the current people that appear to want to blungeon each other with their keyboards to stand back and think before they type something in an open forum.
If you must write something that attacks another member, my challenge to you is to think about what it is about you that got triggered by the message, as it was not the other person that made you mad, it was you who for some personal reason choose to get mad, when in fact there are a couple thousand other responces that would be valid.
The easy way to remember it, "when you are pointing fingers at others, the finger is pointing in the wrong direction."
If after that you still need to write a nasty gram, feel free, write it all out, read it, gloat at how scathing you can be, then hit the back button and move on, as the rest of us do not need to hear someones opinion of someone elses xxxxxxxx, or xxxxxxxx.
Bish0p
> Every person has a different personality and should be treated with respect.
There's a plan…
Bish0p
I've expressed my feelings on this matter both privately and publicly. As a reformed sh– disturber, I can testify to the futility of trying to settle things in a public forum. Bash each other over the head with impunity in private, say I, but please don't subject the rest of us to this kind of bloody bashing.
Please keep in mind that the forums are the public face of the site, and as such reflect on all of us. A couple of members have already expressed their regrets on returning to the site to find this kind of thing going on. Imagine what new visitors to the site are thinking about joining after reading some of these posts.
I'm not trying to discourage free and open debate- far from it. I am however strongly opposed to the not- so subtle, and sometimes blatent personal attacks on other memebers. Personal attacks are ugly, and should never be part of our public forums.
We have the perfect solution to this problem- it's called 'private mail'. If y'all want to beat each other over the head, feel free- in private. I don't want to know about it, and I don't want to see it dragged in the public forums in an attempt to garner support for your cause. Keep your private stuff private. If you don't like what someone says to you, delete it and move on. If it seems to be getting right out of hand, ask DR for help- in private.
If I can condense this little tirade into a couple of thoughts, it's this:
-play nice.
-if you can't play nice, play in private.
-the rest of us don't give a hoot who's right or wrong, we're just trying to play nice.
thank you for your views idjit i will take things private from now on as i agree with you 100%.
I believe another saying is: "When you point a finger at someone, 4 fingers are pointing back at you!"
mesmerize reported:
I believe another saying is: "When you point a finger at someone, 4 fingers are pointing back at you!"
when i point at someone, one phalange (my thumb) is pointing along with the index finger while only three are not following the index finger but pointing off to my right. whomever came with that expression (which i HAVE heard before) was lousy at anatomy, was deformed or had more than 5 fingers! :)
a better expression that i have heard is, "watch where you point that thing, it's got a nail in the end of it…"
hey bish0p welcome back and that is all I got to say.
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