jtjanitorial
Things I like to do at Wal-Mart while my spouse
is taking her sweet time:
-
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples
carts when they aren't looking. -
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
-
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms. -
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares … and see what happens. -
Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
-
Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
-
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
-
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' -
Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
pick your nose. -
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
-
Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme. -
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels. -
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME!" -
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume
the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And last, but not least!)
- Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
