antics
Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of life really are.
- Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any
kind. - You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. - The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are
"I apologize" and "You are right." - Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.
- The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!"
- If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.
- Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, 'Will this matter one
year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?' - Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
- If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
- Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of
a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person
was right about you. - Work is good, but it's not that important.
- And finally; Be really nice to your friends and family. You never
know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
