Fo' them who wasn't hyar last winter, reposted by popular deman' is the: Th' Unanimous Declareeshun Of Th' Saxatoon Users. When in th' Course of hoomin events, it becomes necessary fo' one varmints t'dissolve th' Internet ban's which haf connecked them wif t'other, an' t'assoom among th' Powers of th' Web, th' separeete an' equal Stashun t'which th' Laws of Websarvers an' of Websarvers’ Sysop intitles them, a decent respeck t'th' opinions of th' users requires thet they sh'd declare th' cuzs which impel them t'th' separeeshun. We hold these truths t'be se'f-evident, thet all Users is created equal, thet they is endowed by their Computer wif sartin unalienable Rights, thet among these is Gittin' a Life, Se'finkin' Stamps, an' th' pursueyt of Hits. Thet t'secure these rights, Ackshun Committees is insteetooted among Users, derivin' their jest powers wifout th' consent of th' govahned, cuss it all t' tarnation. Thet whenevah enny Fo'm of Sysopin' becomes destruckive of these inds, it is th' Right of th' Users t'alter o' t'abolish it, an' t'insteetoote noo Direckives, layin' its foun'ashun on sech principles an' o'ganizin' its powers in sech fo'm, as t'them shall seem most likely t'effeck their Messages an' Hits. When a long train of abuses an' usurpashuns, pursueyng invariably th' same Objeck, evinces a design t'redooce them unner absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, t'throw off sech System Administrashun, an' t'provide noo Guards fo' their future security. Such has been th' patient sufferance of these Users; an' sech is now th' necessity which cornstrains them t'alter their fo'mer System Administrashun. Th' histo'y of th' present Webmaster of CMT is a histo'y of repeated injuries an' usurpashuns, all havin' in direck objeck th' establishment of an absolute Tyranny on over these Users. To prove this, let th' Facks be submitted t'a kindid wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. He has refused his Assent t'Changes, the dawgoned-est wholesome an' necessary fo' th' fine of th' Site. He has refused t'make changes fo' th' accommodashun of large districks of users, unless them varmints'd relinquish th' right of Representashun on th' Website, a right inestimable t'them an' fo'midable t'tyrants only. We tharfo'e, th' Representatives of CMT Users of Saxatoon, in Juneral Congress, Assembled, appealin' t'th' Supreme Sysop of th' wo'ld fo' th' reckitude of our intenshuns, does, in th' Name, an' by th' autho'ity of th' fine Users of this hyar Site, solemnly publish an' declare, Thet this hyar Site is an' of Right ought t'be Free an' Independent; thet it is Absolved fum all Allegiance t'th' Bitonic, an' thet all hardwire cornneckshun between them an' Bitonic, is an' ought t'be mighty sevahed; an' thet as a Free an' Independent Site, it has full Power t'levy Spam, cornclude Peace, corntrack Mergers, establish Advahtisin', an' t'do all other Acks an' Thin's which Independent Sites may of right does. An' fo' th' suppo't of this hyar Declareeshun, wif a firm reliance on th' proteckshun of Divine Websurfin', We mutually pledge t'etch other our CPUs, our Fustborn an' raised, an' our sacred Operatin' Systems.

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